I'm starting this not only on a Monday - the universal "I hate work day," but also on an extra shit-tastic Monday. This Monday marks the day I was reprimanded for working my ass off - a.k.a. the official and grudging start to the job hunt.
While I'm paying my dues as a journalist - working as a general assignment reporter in a tiny town just outside Kansas City, I never thought working too hard and too much would be reason for an editor's head to explode. Let's paint a little picture here: I'm the only reporter, which means I cover everything from city council and school board meetings, to features, churches, businesses, schools, police, breaking news....EVERYTHING...Plus all the photos, page design and content planning. I'm exhausted, but I'm not complaining. It's great experience and hopefully (though I'm incredibly discouraged and pessimistic about it right now) it will lead to something better.
However I am complaining about this picture: I'm been there almost two years and have never gotten a raise; I feel like I can't ever be sick or go on vacation because nobody is there to fill in for me; I'm not permitted to write a column even though I was promised one when I was hired and the editor got pissed at me today for having 10 hours of overtime...and I didn't even count all of my hours those two weeks.
I've applied for two whole jobs since October - yeah, I'm really serious about getting a new job right? Half the time I don't feel like I'm qualified for the positions and the the other half of the time I think I would rather die than do what was outlined in the job descriptions. I always said I wasn't sort of "just looking" because I liked my current job OK and wasn't desperate to move on. Well, today the status has just been given a violent ass kick into desperate because I've got to be able to feed myself on a regular basis, save for my future, keep my sanity and live my life for godsakes.
My dream is to be a writer - not necessarily write for a newspaper. My work at this place is done. I need a break, an opportunity, a goddamn interview, somebody to fucking call me back when I send them a resume! Ahhhh! (sigh)
Enough of that.
I did make it to the gym today for the first time in more than a week. I'm going to Cabo San Lucas for my cousin's wedding on Feb. 7th and I have been failing miserably at fufilling the "don't look like a fat ass in a bikini in Cabo" mission. I use the term "fat ass" loosly as I don't need to lose any weight, but just tighten and tone up a little bit. Plus, I'm usually pretty disgustingly critical about my body - ah, the woman's curse. Men (and bitches) make us this way you know. While I meant to start this mission more than a month ago, I'm just so damn tired after work...And I'm actually a pretty energetic person most of the time. I'm not sure if a week and a half in the gym will make any difference in the physique, but at least it will make me feel better. I'm salivating I'm so excited to get out of this frozen tundra for a few days...