Monday, April 7, 2008

C'mon, just be a bitch...

The house is so sad and bare now. I've been going over there from time to time to pack things up and move them out gradually when fuckhead is at work. I figure if I'm paying rent there, I might as well take my sweet time and get my money's worth since I'm not living there (thank god).
I walked into the now stark white bathroom (except for the dinginess from the dirty ass sink, floor, walls — everything. Weird since he couldn't stand me because I was too "messy.") since I owned all the the cute stuff in there (and the entire house) and saw that the shower curtain is now hanging from the shower rod by two sad little plastic zip ties on each side. And I'm talking the nasty, used-to-be-clearish-but-now-covered-in-mold shower curtain liner that a.) I left for him because I felt bad that he didn't have a shower curtain (I really need to stop doing that by the way.) and b.) because it was disgusting enough that I didn't want it anymore. I'm like, shower curtain rings are a buck dude. Go get some.
It's now officially a skanky bachelor pad complete with shitty towels on the floor as rugs and a freezer stocked with chimichangas — mmmm, yummy...(blaaaah *vomit*) However, minus the lifesize cardboard cutout of Pamela Anderson circa the Baywatch years in the living room.
His reasoning for having me move out when the lease was up in May instead of him (before I got smart and hightailed it out of there early) was because he had more stuff in the house than I did and he didn't want to move it all. All I heard was, "blah, blah, blah, I'm an asshole doucherocket." Sure, he had the couches and the big bed - yada, yada - but this now empty house is proof that he was mistaken/confirming the asshole doucherocket accusation above. Your voice and footsteps literally fucking echo in the house now. There are certain things that make a house a home and I apparently own all of them.
I wonder what happened to the anal retentive wonder that I broke up with. Perhaps he's depressed about this whole thing. I'm not sure how you could avoid it in that depression hole he now resides in. Of course he's never shown any remorse before, so maybe he's just lazy...
Anyway, Mom and I were over there Sunday afternoon since I figured out he was out of town for the weekend. But, of course, while we're there picking up some more stuff, he pulls up to the house. Grrreeeeaaaaat. My Mom was like, "Shit! What do I do?" And I was like, "Just leave, I'll hang out and pack up a bit more." So, she takes the last thing out to her car and what do I hear? Civil words exchanged with the enemy. I'm like, dude, Mom, I thought you were on my side? I'm not sure what was said, but it was short and pleasant. Um, excuse me? Could you not do that and pretend like he doesn't exist please? I'm not asking anyone to be hateful towards him or plaster photographic posters with the word "abuser" across them all over the neighborhood, but could you at least let him know that what he did to me was not cool? C'mon, just a be a little bit of a bitch.
I remember when my friend Lacey's dorm roommate freshman year of college was a total bitch and decided to move out of the room and in with another friend of hers without telling Lacey or discussing it with her first and she was so pissed. Her parents came up to school to help her move her stuff around so another roommate could move into her room and whenever they came across something that belonged to "Evil Emily," they "helped" her move it by tossing it out into the hallway...There was no, "Oh hi Emily, how are things?" It was, "Fuck off biotch and get your stuff out."
Hilarious, yet I'm still not asking people to act that way. I just think people should be held accountable for their actions. I know he didn't punch me in the face or anything, but maybe a more clear cut form of abuse or perhaps some glaring proof in the form of a black eye, broken limb or my fucking death, would make people around me take this situation a little more seriously. I thought perhaps people just don't know the situation and that's why I'm debating sending out some sort of small mass e-mail when this whole thing is over explaining some of things that happened and why I can no longer have this man in my life in any way, shape or form. But, then, again there's always people that I introduced to him that just don't give a shit and will continue to be friends with him thus reinforcing his behavior, so I'm not sure if I should even waste my time. However, it might make me feel better regardless. I'm still debating.

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