I'm pretty much the only female in my family now that hasn't popped out a kid or become pregnant at some point in time besides Remi. I feel so...what's the word? Infertile? Could I have pregnancy envy?
My cousin's girlfriend Ashley's belly is HUGE. It looks as though you could literally poke it and it would pop all over the place. My other cousin's wife Ginny is also preggers, but she just now busted out the stretchy elastic waist prego jeans, so she has a ways to go.
Aunt Maryo's birthday celebration was tonight at my parent's house and my cousin Gayle decided to get about 350 tiny cakes so we could have a cake sampling party. Let me tell you, the chicks at this cake place, "Three Women and an Oven" are cake gods - strawberry margarita cheesecake? Pink champagne cake with sparkly pink icing? Are you kidding? I was in cake nirvana. Here I was, flanked by cake eating pregnant chicks and I was totally keeping up the pace. I'm a great cake eater without being pregnant. Ten points for me.
Then, afterwards, Ashley and Ginny were moaning because they were so full of dinner, cake...and baby. They are both in their early to mid 20s, so they're kind of like my people I talk to at family functions. Now, here we were belly to belly to not belly chatting about all things pregnant...no alcohol, no cute shoes or non stretchy elastic waist clothes, caffeine in moderation, screaming children, the agony of child birth, heartburn like a fire breathing dragon...yeah, I've got nothing to contribute to this conversation except looks of horror.
At one point, as I was putting my cork wedges back on my feet, Ashley frowned and said, "I wish I could wear my wedges." But, I did get to feel little Carter rolling around in that giant belly and that is always exciting.
After everybody left, my dad made a comment along the lines of, 'in nine short months, I could look like that if I wanted to,' referring to Ashley. "She's EXTREMELY pregnant," he said. "Can you imagine your flat tummy doing that?"
And it's true, because I would totally look exactly like Ashley if I was pregnant since we basically have the same body type - short, skinny and petite with this enormous, stretched to the gills, basketball belly that's just like *BAM!* However, while Ashley is one of those incredibly adorable pregnant chicks that hasn't gained weight anywhere but in the belly, I fear my ass would swell to Sally Struthers proportions...not so adorable.
So, do I have pregnancy envy? Nope, I was totally just kidding.