Friday, September 26, 2008

Where's OSHA?

I remember sitting at my desk at my first job out of college while a gaping hole in the ceiling and wall behind me dripped rainwater down the wall and into the carpet - the perfect breeding ground for black mold. Never mind the musty smell, how about the fact that it was so bad some days that my eyes would burn.
I'm not sure if it's just newspaper offices, but the trend of shithole work spaces has continued. Constant baited mousetraps were a must in my last office and I once walked into a cockroach infestation. I sat in my desk chair with my knees tucked up to my chest just completely beside myself. I almost had to go home, but was instead sent to down the street to the hardware store to purchase every sort of roach killing device they carried.
Now, in my current office, the biggest shithole of them all, an apparent squirrel has decided to make the ceiling and walls of the office it's new home. It's a little unnerving to hear scratching, chewing and furious scurrying noises from the hole ridden ceiling since I'm constantly worried that glorified rat will fall out the hole closest to me and bite off my nose thus giving me rabies. I swear to god if that thing comes crashing through the ceiling and onto my head, I'm quitting and presenting a lawsuit.
The day after one of the ad reps told me a wonderfully settling story about how a swarm of termites magically came out of the ceiling above her desk and descended upon her one day, crawling all over her desk and down her shirt, the photographer came out of his office and said we really needed to spray for bugs...because a motherfucking cockroach had just crawled across his keyboard.

1 comment:

LAURA said...

You should set a bug/rodent aerosol bomb right when you are leaving for work... or not, because maybe the "rat" would escape and be back with a grudge against you in the morning.. :)


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