Miss Lara the office bitch at your service. Yes, it's true, I have sold out and I couldn't be happier. The euphoric state I've been in since finding out that I got a new job last night has been like walking on air.
Even when I walked into the office today with two entire stories and a column to write, along with the paper to put together, I was stress free.
Even when the pot head douchebag I've been forced to sit next to for the past six months who has no regard for anybody but himself, is the largest dumbass to walk the face of the planet yet thinks he's motherfucking Einstein and makes me want to beat myself over the head with a blunt object, was acting even more needy and stupid as though he's never been face-to-face with anything remotely journalistic, I totally just gritted my teeth with the satisfaction that after the next two weeks, I would never have to see that face or hear that voice EVER again.
And, even when my column "didn't find a spot" on any of the newspaper pages, I just said, eh, there's always next week.
I was anxious to hear if I had gotten the job immediately after my interview last Tuesday, but I knew I had to wait until the beginning of this week. Friday evening as I was taking photos of the town's Homecoming parade while children pelted me in the face with smarties and tootsie rolls from passing "floats," I started to have second thoughts about leaving. Everyone knew me by name and said hi and one guy I had done a story on earlier that week had his car stop in the middle of the parade so he could hand me a Hershey bar the size of an encyclopedia. I thought, sometimes this job really is pretty cool...Then I sat through a dead horse beating four hour long city council meeting Monday night and came to my senses.
I was distracted the rest of the weekend with a trip to the American Royal BBQ Friday night (I've lived here my whole life and I've never been to this thing until now. What the hell kind of Kansas Citian am I?!), a life altering trip to Chuck E. Cheese for my cousin Aidan's third birthday Saturday evening (I even wrote my column about this. I'll let you know when they actually decide to publish it.)and Kate and Sam's engagement Saturday night. But, by Monday, I was jumping out of my skin to hear the news and by Tuesday afternoon, I was damn near hyperventilating. The boss man didn't even call me until quarter till six in the evening. Five motherfucking forty five P.M. By then, I was so wound up I couldn't even talk. And, just as I thought I heard him say "welcome to Level 4 Engineering," the phone started cutting out and I lost him.
But, then he called back, confirmed what I thought I had heard and I peed in my pants a little. Then it got even better. He told me they were impressed with me and my background and were excited to have me as the face of their company. I was all, I think I love you. Here I am, weary and defeated from my year long hunt that has only produced two interviews and one fatty fat rejection letter from a job I was highly qualified for and wanted so badly, along with the miserably failed relationship, a stint with my parents, my dating handicap and the fact that I'm the broke-est human being alive besides those that reside in cardboard boxes, I was almost convinced that I just completely sucked at life. And, here this guy was telling me I'm the shit? It couldn't have come at a better time.
While I wanted this job for the higher pay, normal hours and low stress - a.k.a. the opposite of my current job - so I could freelance and do more of the activities I want to do in life, each time I talk to him he mentions something more he'd like me to do such as use my journalism skills to their advantage - newsletters, brochures, etc...and I'll be happy to oblige just so I can do something other than book keep and shop for office supplies. It's a small, growing company open to new ideas, so I just pitch an idea and the vibe is that I'm going to get to run with those ideas. So, this job that I thought was simply going to be my escape from hell just might turn into my dream career, but I'm not banking on it quite yet. What a beautiful, beautiful thing I've stumbled upon.
I invited a few people out for some celebratory drinks tonight including my ninth grade boyfriend. Yeah, weird, right? I run into him from time to time at the bars and did so Friday night at the BBQ. Now we've been talking back and forth...
Anyway, I designated the Velvet Dog in Martini Corner as the celebratory bar for the night excect when I tried to get there, the streets were blocked off with yellow police tape and cop cars. You know Kansas City is experiencing a bit of a crime wave when you try to go to one of your favorite bars at 8:30 p.m. on Wednesday and people have already shot each other in the street in front of it. Awesome.
So, I settled on another favorite, the Foundry in Westport, also the scene of the tiki tiki party hat fiasco. Westport has also been shot up the past couple of weekends, but there was no yellow tape there preventing me from enjoying a couple of my favorite beers tonight - raspberry wheat brewed at McCoy's next door - and it was glorious.
Now all I have to do is break the news to my editor, put in those two weeks and enjoy an entire week of much deserved vacation before starting my NEW JOB on Nov. 3.
I'm so fucking excited.