I tried to find a picture of an Easter basket that even compared to the bounty of sugary awesome-ness that the Easter bunny used to bring me when I was a child, but couldn’t really find anything that accurately displayed the mountain of Peeps, Cadbury Eggs, gum eggs, chocolate bunnies, jellybeans that poured out the sides of the little ghetto white crocheted Easter baskets with pink wooden beads our great aunt made for my sister and me.
We worked on all of that shit for weeks – basically until eating the Peeps was equivalent to gnawing on a cement curb. I don’t think we ever actually finished it all.
We always left the Easter bunny a carrot as a thank you for filling our baskets and years later my mom told me stories about how her and my dad would stifle laughter late at night as my dad would pick up the carrot, eat some, then chomp strategically placed “bunny” teeth marks into the remaining carrot before placing it back down on the plate for us to find in the morning.
My little childhood brain pretty much exploded every time I saw that carrot. I was all, “HOLY SHIT! He was actually here!” Then I’d get to thinking about it and decide I wasn’t really sure I liked the fact that a giant rabbit was roaming around my house at night while I was asleep. It was all sort of creepy and mutant-like. Hmmm…
The Easter baskets evolved through the years – less candy, more little surprises that suited our ages – a necklace, a t-shirt, a giftcard etc.
Now, here I am, nearly 26-years-old and my parents are still at it. My mom has always been quite observant of my wants my entire life. We’ll be in a store, I’ll mention how cute something is, the next holiday rolls around and low and behold there it is. I’m always completely amazed like, “how did you know?! I completely forgot about this!” But this time, since both of them read my blog, they have a little more insider information. Mom stuck an Easter basket in my car on Thursday afternoon while I was at work:
Notice: Minimal candy since I’ve already bought my weight in Easter candy over the past couple of weeks. That shit just sits on shelves at the store and stares at me. I can’t resist.
Notice: Those little white containers? Those are my coveted body scrubs that I mentioned in a blog a few weeks ago.
Notice: Plastic Easter eggs are no longer filled with chocolate, but with a bit-o-cash.
I was thrilled. So thrilled I almost cried. Maybe it’s because I thought I was too old for that stuff and being an adult has really fucking sucked lately. It brought me back to my lovely childhood when I didn’t worry about money or health problems or career choices or asshole men (and women for that matter). It brought a little much needed joy to my full of worries life.
If my parents continue to look to my blog for Easter basket ideas, this might be a little taste of what I can expect next year and in years to come:
Clockwise from the top:
2. Pocket flame thrower
3. Shark repellent
5. Mini teleporter
6. Hot shoes
I hope everybody had a Happy Easter!