A short recap of last night...
The joyous gay...
The masked mistress...
And Britney’s black wig and booby tassles!
Let me tell you, Britney Spears has had a few songs that I like for their dancey-prancey party appeal – they’re just so damn catchy! – but I’ve never really considered myself an actual fan. However, I must say that last night’s circus-themed concert was pretty amazing. Not for the live singing aspect since, from my calculations, she only actually sang one song – “Everytime” while sitting on the handle of a giant umbrella suspended in the air. In fact I wonder if the mic was even on most of the time. It was basically just like a remix CD was playing with her and some backup singers chiming in on a word or two here and there...but the show itself was brilliantly choreographed with dancers, circus performers, creepy, alternative clowns with mohawks, lights, props, shit flying around above your head including people, bicycles, poles, sparkly costumes, video montages, confetti, sparks, fire...a midget faux playing the guitar and on and on and on...I now aspire to be a Brit Brit back up dancer. Perhaps then she’ll marry me and all my money woes would be over. I mean, shit, she’s done it before plus nobody would even bat an eye if she married another woman. They’d just be all, ‘oh, that Britney...’
Anyway, Big Gay Andrew got a wild hair up his ass to buy tickets on Tuesday to last night’s (Thursday’s) show and the only ones left were the bajillion dollar ones, so he went ahead and acted as a high roller. Then, he made the lovely decision of inviting me, which I’m so glad he did because we got VIP wrist bands, a special entrance and perched on little swivel barstools in “ringside” seats in the second row, while sipping Miller Lite from plastic cups. We were perhaps 15 to 20 feet from the edge of the circular stage.
The Pussycat Dolls opened the show and they were actually damn good in all aspects. Plus, they are definitely a physically fit group, but none of them were gross skinny.
Actually nobody in the whole show was anorexic looking. Even Miss Britney had a little stomach pooch rather than the ripped abs that you’ve seen in videos in the past, but she looked curvy and sexy and womanly – nice legs and a really nice butt that I kind wanted to take a bite out of like a big apple.
Listen to me! I’m talking about marrying her and biting her hot ass. I sound like a giant les-bi-nan, but I’m just giving compliments where they’re due. She’s a pretty hot ass beotch. I wouldn’t have taken my children to this show if I had any since Britney was in basically underwear and a bra or a leotard most of the time while constantly pelvic thrusting and being groped by herself and various male dancers in tiny black leather schlong covers, so it wasn’t surprising that, by my guess, the largest demographic was 18 to 30 year olds – both ladies and jumpy, joyous gay men. Thank god there were no teeny boppers wastin’ my flava near us. However I was slightly annoyed by some of the outfits I saw. I’m like, seriously? You’re a grown woman. Take that tutu off dumbshit.
Well, I’ve wanted to see a show in the Sprint Center since it opened last year, but I never thought my first show there would be Britney Spears. But, hey, it was a fun time had by all. Unfortunately there were no rando yellings of “bitch” or “my pussy is showing.” Damn. Sorry to disappoint. I also wanted to post some videos, but they're taking so damn long to upload, so perhaps on Monday. In the meantime, enjoy this beautiful sight instead:
"It's Britney Bitch!"