Friday, May 15, 2009

Puppy Love

I remember the day I picked Andy up from the Humane Society. That hilarious little bastard...he ran out from the back room a.k.a. his prison cell, flipped on his back when the adoption coordinator bent down to give him a pet goodbye and shot a stream of piss about 3 feet into the air.

He then proceeded to fling himself around the car on the drive home as if he had never been in a car before, which could have been almost true. At one point he flew over the back of my head and landed in my lap, surprising the shit out of me and causing me to swerve all over the highway as I struggled to shove his squirrely ass back into the backseat.

Despite the fact that I had just voluntarily and unknowingly adopted a life long pain in the ass with all of his bad behavior and overall asshole-ness, I remember it as one of the happiest times of my life. I was so proud.

And, now that he still pisses all over unsuspecting friends and strangers alike has learned to control his bladder and can still be a total dickhead is so well behaved it's as if Cesar Milan himself trained him, I look back and see that adopting him was one of the best decisions I ever made.

Especially now when my life seems to be crumbling into a nice, neat pile of sun dried dog shit. My friends and family have been supportive, but there's only so much depressed daughter/sister/friend people can take and it's inevitable that I will still feel hopelessly alone (yeah, yeah, wah, wah, poor me I know...) at times. However, I think Andy has been a saving grace. He's always there, flopping into my lap or curling his body into the tiniest ball possible behind my knees when I sleep. And, he greets me with the perfect amount of excitement - enough to ricochet off my boobs, but not enough to piss all over me. It's much appreciated. Plus, like I said before, he's a good example of how you should live your life...joyously...minus the spontaneous and uncontrollable pissing part.

Yeah, maybe he's just a dog, but he's my 'lil pal and I'm so glad I have him. This is why I've decided to volunteer at the Humane Society of Greater Kansas City. I've thought about it for a long time - ever since I started putting the "Pets of the Week" in the newspaper when I was working my first job out of college as a reporter - and I downloaded and printed a volunteer form a few weeks before I was laid off, but stalled a little bit for one reason or another. Now, I've got all the time in the world.

My little bastard, stumpy tailed Jack Russell has brought me happiness and that place is full of a variety of other little shits that would bring happiness to others. Little (or big) shits that need the help of volunteers to walk, feed, bathe, love and pimp them out to future owners that may or may not even know they want a dog. I could do that and it would be a win-win-win situation. That's building good Karma I tell you. The first step of many towards something better.

However, this gets me thinking about my very first job at a veterinary kennel at 15 when I was literally ankle deep in shit, attacked by a fluffy, white whore of dog, pulled down the hallway by four large dogs and slammed into a wall where a large box fan broke my fall and nearly had my eyes clawed out by a demonic kitty. I lasted three months. Hmmm, this may prove to be a bad idea...

But I figure it will be more rewarding this time since I'll be working for $0 and the satisfaction of helping animals and other people rather than minimum wage in 1998, which was about $0.60 and hour or something and the satisfaction (or lack there of) of having a real job...ha! Right. Of course there's also those 11 years that have passed since that first job and one other important addition/lesson/love...




One day, me and the Dalai Lama...we're gonna be tight.

4 comments:

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Aw, he's ADORABLE!!! Makes me all broody for a dog or cat everytime I see a dog or cat. I admire your volunteering. I'd love to do it but I know me - I'd be a blubbering wreck every single day at all those sad little faces. And if some dog came in that had been abused, I do not trust myself not to track down his former owner and stab them in the throat with a fork.

Plus I'd have adopted 50 dogs by day 2 and my apartment's TINY...

Man, your dog is cute! :)

Harna said...

Thank you, yes, he is quite the cute little character. I do worry about being upset about seeing all the homeless dogs and wanting to take them home, but I figure if I'm there, they will be adopted sooner. I'm an awesome pimp...

Eric said...

Cute dog, I thought 'walking Andy' in the later post might have been a euphemism for something.

Amy said...

O Lara! I remember storys from the aforementioned first job! My favorite part of Sophomore lunch was the demon kitty/psycho doggie stories...

 

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