Yes, look at me being all holiday spirit-y. Christmas is subtle at my apartment mainly because I haven't built up my decoration stash quite yet since being out on my own and I don't have money to burn right now on plastic glowy santas and inflatable snow globes. However, my neighbors apparently do, which makes Andy bristle and growl just like last year and cracks my shit up. Perhaps I'll take a tip from my parents who, on their first Christmas together as a married couple, couldn't afford a tree, so they stole some janky ass Charlie Brown tree from a nearby tree lot on Christmas Eve, then decorated it with popcorn strung on floss. Pretty awesome, right?
Aaaand, on top of that, this is what it looked like outside my door a few hours ago:
Kansas City's first snow of the season and I'm surprisingly not cranky about it at all.
Here's Andy going, "Dammit! Not again!"
Actually, he's a crazed tard ass in the snow, running at top speed in disjointed circles then stopping briefly to pee on a tree before continuing his rampage. It's a good thing he's a giant pansy ass like his mother and prefers to get back inside out of the cold as quickly as possible.
Every time I take him out in the evening I always hear...and smell...my downstairs neighbor outside smoking while talking on the phone. Actually, she's always relentlessly bitching and cussing about something quite loudly to whoever is on the other end. I can only guess through the tiny amount of unavoidable eavesdropping that it's about work. Bitching about work - imagine that. I just smile and laugh to myself and think, the day I'm given the opportunity to work again will mark the end of bitching about work for me. And, while you may think that's completely impossible, in the future, as I'm opening my mouth to bitch about work, I'll remember these nearly eight months - and hopefully not too many more - of struggling and grief and frustration and I'll slap myself in the face. I'll never take having a job for granted again.
Actually, I haven't had too much to bitch about around here lately. This weird feeling has come over me recently...wait, could that feeling be...happy? Whoa. Perhaps this is a sign that all that clawing and scratching I've done in the past several months is actually starting to dig me out of this hole - positive thinking I tell you.
This crazy thing called a full day of work lies ahead of me tomorrow thanks to a freelance writing job my former editor hooked me up with. I'm writing editorial business advertisements for the newspaper group I used to work for before I ventured off into my unknowingly "doomed to fail" marketing endeavor. It may not be enough to pay my rent, but it's keeping me on the radar and that's something I'm grateful for.
I risked another possible disappointment, but I was brave and decided to walk into a cute, little local store called Lulu's Boutique and present the owners with some of my "True To You" wrist cuffs a few weeks ago. I nearly crapped my pants when they were excited to add them to their inventory. I think at that moment I officially became an artist and it gave me that little kick in the ass a.k.a. confidence I needed to market my tiny, budding business a little more. Here are a few of my latest creations:
Thanksgiving was nothing short of lovely - no drama, no bullshit - just enjoyed the company of my family. I know, we're so boring, right? Keep in mind that this type of completely pleasant holiday is strangely of out character. Stay tuned for Christmas. Then, at the very least, you know you'll get some stories about and maybe some photos of anatomically correct gingerbread men...and women from our annual family Christmas cookie decorating get together. Pleasant, yet perverted - yes, and we're proud of it.
Perhaps the most exciting thing to not bitch about right now is the fact that I'm right in the middle of the selection process for an amazing job. Not just employment and a paycheck, but basically a dream job that I can't imagine anybody wanting more than I do. I waited a grueling month to learn that my cover letter, resume and writing samples apparently jumped out of the giant stack of qualified people, which allowed me to make it past round one. Round two involved three projects including ad design and writing a couple of different things, which caused my competitive and perfectionist Type-A evil twin to emerge.
She usually stays under wraps in the "toned down" form of fun loving, hyperactive and quirky me. However, when things get important and I have to prove myself queen of the mountain or defend an honor, I get a little, um, intense.
I ran on pure delirious energy last week completing these projects and doing everything I could possibly think of to make mine the best. I even attended an orchestra concert for one of the assignments, which wasn't required or suggested and watched as claws sprouted from my fingertips. I looked across the auditorium and thought I saw a woman standing on the opposite wall writing something down much like I was in my reporter's notebook. I wasn't even sure if she was my competition or if she was even actually writing anything down, but my blood seriously started to boil with fierce competitiveness - a feeling I'm pretty sure I haven't felt since my dancing days.
A few minutes later, I caught myself giving sideways glances in the direction of a different lady standing in the commons area after the show who, for some reason, also looked suspiciously like my competition. Like, BACK OFF! This is MY job! Then, I snapped out of it and was all, what the hell am I doing?! I'm insane! I guess it just shows that I'm passionate enough to scrap for this position and I don't usually resort to violence...usually. ; )
All of my assignments were turned in ahead of schedule and I had the opportunity (and pure luck) to run into the person in charge of hiring when I went to drop them off. Now, I'm anxiously waiting to see if I made it to round three, or first interviews, which I will apparently know by the end of the week. The job will be offered by Jan. 1. At this point, my fingernails and cuticles are torn to shreds, my apartment is spotless and sleep is a fleeting thought. Would you like to come over and watch me rip my hair out next?
On top of all that, I'm fighting a cold and I have boy on the brain during those few times I allow my mind to briefly stray from the job situation. Christmas is coming in two weeks and have I done any shopping? Yeah, right! Have you ever read this blog?
Eh, it will work out how it's supposed to work out, which means I will get this amazing, dream job and will be allowed to fulfill my promise of never bitching about work again.
Perhaps you pray, or believe in Karma, wish upon stars, cross your fingers, or harness the chi, or just think happy, positive thoughts - whatever it is you do that brings luck, hope and good things to yourself and others, would you mind throwing some of those things over this way to me? I could definitely use and appreciate a Christmas, or in this case, a New Year's miracle this year. Thank you!