I dropped my Statement of Intent for the University of Colorado Denver in the mail today, which means...it's official — I'm moving to Denver.
While I've been all "SQUEEEEEE!" since the acceptance letter arrived, it didn't really become completely real until now. And, when I say real, I mean I hadn't really thought about the amount of SUCK involved in moving. It blows to move a few blocks down the street let alone 600 miles away. In fact, I think the last time I moved, I swore not to move again until teleporters were invented, but here I am moving again and do you see any mofoing teleporters around? Nope, not a one. I really need to learn to keep promises to myself.
So, in order to minimize the suckage, I started to do a little research on moving companies. I don't mind a couple of burley dudes manhandling my goods if it means I get to avoid bribing my friends, bulldozing over small children and elderly ladies with walkers by allowing myself to drive a giant truck across the state and becoming the cranky, sweaty bitch that decides it's a good idea to lift several heavy objects in the blistering heat of mid summer.
I'm not a rich woman, but I'm thinking, yeah, this will probably be more expensive than doing it myself, but not too much more expensive and totally worth the bullshit involved in the self-moving-rent-a-UHaul fiasco. However, I began to get calls back this morning with approximate estimates — one even had a guaranteed price — and I about shit myself. To load, drive and unload my tiny, shoebox bachelorette pad that mostly contains furniture that is about a step and a half above plywood and milk crates, will cost between 2,000 and 3,000 motherfucking dollars. Holy shit and jesus christ in a rowboat, do these bastards think I am made of money? Talk about taking advantage of the mega ultron amount of ball suckage involved in moving.
So, it looks like me, my mother and/or father and Andy the Jack Russell Terrier will be packing up my entire life in a rickety ass UHaul truck and barreling our asses down the highway like the fucking Beverly Hillbillies trying to avoid murdering the tumbleweeds and escaped cattle that cross our path. God help us...and anybody else who happens to be on Interstate-70 in Kansas or Colorado in mid to late July. It should be a grand 'ole time.