Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Oh, hey 2012, you snuck up on me, you bastard

I began 2011 barfing in the bushes outside of the apartment of a guy I hardly knew and began 2012 returning a dress I got for Christmas that made me look like a baby prostitute (It looked so non baby prostitute-y online). It seems as though it was a year of growing up for me. In fact, check this out:

It's a new addition to our family...

You totally thought she was mine for a second, didn't you?

Yeah, not that grown up yet. That would probably put a damper on the whole master's degree, new career thing I've been working on. This is my new niece, Kailer that was born on the 29th, while I laid around like a fatty, not working on my resume and website while on my two week Christmas vacation in KC. Essentially, I blame Jesus, this little baby, my other niece Remi, alcohol and fun people for my lack of productivity. I mean, there's always something better to do than prepare for your future when presents, babies, martinis and bad influences are in such close proximity.

After a semester of full time school, working three jobs and a particularly nerve wracking final presentation in front of the Colorado Office of Economic Development, it was a much needed, relaxing trip, that I was not quite ready to let go of. I said reluctant goodbyes, wrung out my liver and headed back to Denver a week ago. Now suddenly school starts back up in less than a week and I graduate in four months. This realization makes me go, oh holy shit, must stop laying on ass and find career!

And, so relaxation was officially over last night when I decided to unsuccessfully develop my website after a long day at work. I bought a domain in October, got busy and let it hang out for three months, which somehow screwed it up. I stayed up late in bed, sighing heavily and muttering, "why won't you WORK, you whore?" to my computer every five minutes while simultaneously shoving my boyfriend who was snoring right through his Breathe Right Strip.

After a night of dreaming about what could possibly be wrong and firebombing my provider, I woke to a blizzard and a bad mood. I came to the conclusion that I would obsess over this at work, so I stayed home to sigh and yell profanity at my computer some more. Of course, after a call to support, it started to work, then the second I hit the end button, it stopped working again. I screamed and shook my fists in the air, then looked around for a hidden camera. WHY?!

More tinkering around, cussing and a web browser update later, I was in business. It's a long way from done, but at least the stream of profanity directed at an inanimate object has ceased...

It's back to reality, an ass that is a more respectable size and a brain that is less like mush. It's a far cry from puke in the bushes and a slutty dress, but somehow just as entertaining.

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